A Place to Call Home Continued....

When Mr. Ex told me he wanted to sell the condo and I was going to have to move, I was devistated. It really was the last thing I could afford. After much searching on Craig's List, I found a woman who wanted to rent out a room at an affordable price and in an area I wanted to live. Everything looked like it was going to work out and I looked forward to the new chapter in my life. Two days before I was to move in, she called me and told me the agreement had fell through. I now had 2 days to decide what I was going to do!

I was wallowing in self pitty when a friend said I could stay at his place for a few weeks until I found a new place. This worked out well as we were both students at the photography school and I was able to find another room on Craig's List.

Things were about to get ugly......

A Place to Call Home

One of my first concerns after the break up was where I was going to live. Mr. Ex and I eventually came to the agreement that I would continue to live in the condo and he would move out. He moved in with the woman he was seeing behind my back. I should be angry with her, but I feel only pity, for she does not know that he is now cheating on her. Why do women not listen to the old saying – Once a cheater, always a cheater. How can one be so naïve to think they will not do the same to them?

I live in the condo for a few years, and then he decided he wanted to sell it. This is the one issue that sticks in my craw so to speak. I supported us for the thirteen years we were together, which gave him the opportunity to buy the condo outright. So he made me leave and he is selling the condo and keeping all of the money for himself. On the bright side I learned an important lesson. If I am in a relationship every thing is 50/50 no exceptions. Ever.

Since I had to leave the condo, I have not had a permanent place to call home. I have been through a series of disastrous living arrangements which has finally culminated in my moving back in with my family an hour and a half away from my place of employment. Like Jerry Seinfeld says “You know your life is not exactly on track if you have to move back in with your parents.”

How does one get over the bitterness? I use to be a very independent person with my own home and own life. Now in mid life I’m living back home with no independence and feeling like a complete loser. Thanks Mr. Ex, I’m glad I was so good to you!

The Breakup

It happened when I got home from work. My partner was on the computer and he got up to go in the kitchen for something to drink. I sat down to read my emails and there it was. I break up letter in an email, while he was home! I couldn’t believe what I was seeing. After 13 years, he thought an email was a sufficient way of ending our relationship. Actually, it was par for the course and was an example of how much he valued me and our relationship.

After the initial shock wore off, I was angry. Then I was sad, and then I was sad and angry. How could he do this to me? I’m 45! How was I to start over at this age? It’s been almost 3 years now and my emotions haven’t changed. I alternate between being sad and angry and at times I am both. I blame him for everything that has happened to me since, whether he deserves that or not. This is my story, a middle aged woman finding herself alone and financially destitute at a time of life when one is suppose to be enjoying the fruits of their years of hard work. I am hoping to reach others who are going through the same experience and let them know they are not alone.

We met when I was in my early thirties, me being a few years older than he. The first year of our relationship was topsy- turvy, we broke up several times and got back together. We moved in together when I got back from the Peace Corps and at first things were good. The last two years of our relationship however were not. He was cheating on me with a co-worker and treating me horribly. At one point I asked him if he was cheating and he had the gall to get angry with me for even saying such a thing. And then came the break up.



Stay tuned for more of my story and how I am coping with life spiraling out of control….